dead men tell no tales
Oh this nostalgia will be the end of me.

Brighter, more innocent days when I was not burdened by men, money, melancholy, m, m, m.

Hm.

Anyway.

Trying to pull through this last hour of work. The last hour always takes two or three hours to go by. Ugh.

I need to read Emerson tonight.

I need to finish my Goals and Objectives for my practicum.

My practicum is going well. I am enjoying the participants I work with and it's definitely a refreshing change from work. At work, I'm obligated to the politics of the job. As a volunteer, I am not, so I am able to focus more on the participants. Most of the participants are also higher functioning than my boys, so that's quite a change. I'm not used to holding a conversation that isn't mostly one-sided.

Anyway, hopefully that goes just as well.

I AM going to start going to the gym again. Starting tonight. I did start dieting last week, on the Alli program again, but realized my cupboards are not equipped for the madness of Alli's side effects. So I'm making my way through my unhealthy food, feeding it to others when I can, until I have to go grocery shopping again and I can buy things more appropriate for a low fat diet. (when I get paaaaid.)

I am pretty bent on this and I am GOING to lose weight within the next few months.

Alli was a pretty successful diet when I was actually at a healthy and ideal weight (not ideal to me at the time. *eye roll*), so I'm curious to see how it will go now that I've got some weight on me.

So, yeah. Goals, damn it. And I need to work on my self-esteem. It will be awhile before I get to my goal weight, but I want to be content with myself in the mean time. Gotta stop this self-loathing shit. Hoping the gym will do this for me.

Yes. I can do this.